I can’t tell I’m growing

For a while now, I have been challenged and haunted and just generally curious about growing up into maturity in Christ.

I have been on a journey around what Jesus has to say about us growing up and how that happens in us, for a while.

If you are reading this blog post, you are likely concerned about the topic as well. At VantagePoint3, our vision is to be a catalyst for adults growing toward depth and maturity in Christ and to equip developmentally minded leaders like yourselves to keep growing up yourselves and help others do the same through our resources, retreats, and network of like-minded friends.

With these lofty goals in mind, I was stopped in my tracks this summer when one of our young grandsons nailed a truth we adults keep quiet about.

We were on a family vacation, about 25 of us, on Minnesota’s Pelican Lake. This modest nine-cabin destination and the tone of the days brought out the very best in our authentic, made-like Jesus selves as we each let go of the responsibilities we carry back home. 

We have twelve grandchildren, ranging in age from six weeks to 22 years. This detail matters to this story!

I was sitting in an Adirondack chair a few feet from the water while several of our younger grandchildren ran in and out of the water. Parker, age four, an identical twin, noticed that an older set of cousins and their robust-with-muscles friends were going in and out of our cabins and the resort lodge, helping themselves to one snack and treat after another.

Parker: “Nana, why do the bigger boys get more treats than me?”

Nana/Me: “Because their bodies are bigger and can handle more than you. Does that make sense, Parker?”

Parker: “Yeah……I want to grow up.”

Nana: “Oh, you will. God knows just how fast to grow you up.”

Parker: “Well….. it’s boring. And I can’t tell I’m growing.”

Isn’t that the truth??!!  

We don’t generally realize by ourselves that we are growing. Others notice this in us before we notice it in ourselves. I, for instance, can certainly tell that Parker IS growing, but he can’t see it in himself.

As adults, we are the same. We need people close enough to us to reflect back to us that we are changing and to point out to us what character qualities and growth they see in us. The absence of a close community steals the evidence that growth is happening. We can become bored or discouraged if we pursue life as a lone ranger.

Who knows you well enough to point out that you are, in fact, growing??

We generally don’t know we’ve been in a season of growth until we pause and reflect backward. A paper trail of evidence in our journals, prayers answered, responses or reactions that are more mature than they used to be, creates evidence that contradicts the feeling that nothing is happening. It breaks the boredom!

I never tire of Soren Kierkegaard’s quote, “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.”

When we look back, we discover patterns and ingredients that contributed to our growth…the people, experiences, hardships, and God’s unexplainable grace.

In I Cor 13:11, Paul implores us, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.” We all know adults who have not grown up, adults who are stalled in their growth toward maturity in Christ. It is not a given that we will just grow up and finish our life of faith well.

Parker’s observations at four years old were completely accurate, “Growing up is boring, and I can’t tell I’m growing.”

What choices are you making to put yourself in a position to catch the wind of the Holy Spirit and pay attention to what a more fully mature-in-Christ version of yourself might look like?

 

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At VantagePoint3, our entire ministry is committed to helping you grow up in every way into Christ’s good work for you and for others you might shepherd in a small group setting. If you’re curious to hear more, join our next What is The Journey?