One of my roles with VantagePoint3 is to support the more than 100 facilitators leading a VP3 adult process in their local church. It is a role I deeply enjoy.


Whether you are one of those facilitators or not, my hunch is that if you are reading this blog, you are leading a group of adults right now. That’s the kind of people we are. Perhaps my own experience of hitting the pause button and “really noticing each person” is well timed for you.


The small group I am investing in is participating in The Journey, the first step in the VP3 pathway for adult development. I have led groups like this many times. But this year I found myself a bit disappointed with how well we are all bonding. The depth of sharing isn’t what I desire. There is also one individual that just seems more removed from the others. Less invested. Cautious. This has been troubling to me. So I’ve wanted to “fix” that person. You know, show them the light of my leadership and get them moving along. I asked for an appointment so we could talk about what I was seeing.


Then the pause came from the Holy Spirit.


In my preparation for about every Journey group I take a peek at the VP3 Conversations Journal. This resource was created to “walk alongside facilitators and leaders as they lead others.” Each week I pick a topic from among 18 that coincides with where I’m at, or what I sense I need from the Lord to lead and care for others. That week I chose, “Love One Another.” Here’s what I read:




Extend grace.

Be merciful.

Show compassion.



Who is God prompting you to love more?

What might this look like?

What holds you back from initiating love to others?


When I actually answered these questions myself, God revealed to me my shortcomings in building a relationship with this adult. My lens for “what’s going on here” shifted. When we met together I was much more merciful. I still am. My focus isn’t on fixing them, it’s on caring for them well. The group still isn’t where I would like it to be. But I have a good assurance all will be well as we continue faithfully.


Perhaps it would be a good time to

prayerfully linger with the Lord

and think about each person you lead.

Picture them as God does.

What do they each need?

What is God up to in their lives?

What’s next for them?


“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.

Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,

If you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35


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